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I reached down and tried to pull my shirt down further. I was becoming very self-conscious around these guys. Suddenly, I didn't trust them any more."That's real nice language for a lady to use," he retorted."Lady?" I shot back, "I'm no lady, Goddamn it!"He could see that he'd punched one of my buttons. "You'd better check again little girl! The world just became a very different place for you and you'd do well to remember that." What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" I asked him harshly. "You gonna try to rape me? Maybe try to beat me up big man?"That last one just popped out. I was sorry the minute I said it but it was too late to pull it back and I knew I was going to have to backup anything I said from this point forward. I was still playing the man's game and I couldn't back down now or I'd pay an even greater price, yet my mouth still kept writing checks my body couldn't cash."I'll kick your ass any day you decide you want a piece of me. Even like this, I'm more of a man than. To me, this had been a very special night. I felt that It had changed my life.My dreams never returned after that. I appeared to sleep much better after and I still do today. The fear that I had of becoming addicted to alcohol in order to keep my dreams away no longer existed. Today I seldom drink alcohol at all except for very special celebrations. There was only one other time after that night that I drank excessively.As for my feelings for Lyn, it felt as if for some unknown reason those few seconds when she woke up and smiled at me and then drifted off to sleep allowed me to let go. Perhaps it was that Julie cared enough to come looking for me at a time of my lowest emotional weakness. Perhaps Julie had stepped into the emotional hole that losing Lyn had created. We arrived in LA in the morning before we were due to fly out to Sydney. I had been calling the kids at Marg and Cherie's place every day that I had been in the US. I purposely didn’t ask any questions about my wife, Sue.
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